accept. However, something as simple as a photo brings it all starkly back to our minds when we see exactly the sad condition Indy was in when he came to us. The benefit of hindsight is reflection.
INDY WEEK #1
We have all found ourselves, at some point in our lives, looking back and wishing we had done something different. Or, not realizing what we had been through until we had gotten ourselves to the other side of some terrible situation. Well, that has been the case this week for Indy and I. I see Indy most everyday. Lately, I have noticed that when I miss a day or two, it seems to be just as well as it allows me to see Indy with fresh eyes.
Last night, as we went through all of the photos and videos of Indy's journey thus far, I saw, for the first time, the severity of the life he had been living. I never really saw how bad he actually was! I saw pictures from the first day he arrived at Fieldstone, a training barn where I am used to seeing healthy, happy horses that have all of their needs met, I had so many emotions. There were tears and anger, pity, empathy and disgust at the fact that thinking, feeling, reasoning human beings can stand by and watch an animal deteriorate into such a condition. The first time he was trotted down the lane being led by my ten year old niece, I could not believe what I saw on that video! His left rear leg lame and swollen and hind quarters moving as if they were not attached to the rest of his body. Covered in hives, patches of skin missing and sore, bloody wounds on his legs, face and hip bones and layers of dirt and urine from months of neglect. How does this happen? Thank God, we don't always see how bad things truly are when we are in the thick of it. It isn't until we find a little breathing room, that we wipe our brows with the back of our hand, let go a deep, heavy sigh and think to ourselves and wonder was it really that bad? For Indy, it was! It was really that bad! He hung in there, though and there is and will continue to be redemtion for this horse. Things will continue to get better for Indy. In a little more than two weeks, he has become a different horse.
INDY WEEK #2
At this moment in time, Indy is happy, gaining weight, courious, content and continuing to change his life a little bit everyday. After four bathing sessions, each containing full body scrubbing with a rubber curry at least two times per session, I can see the skin under his coat. The layers of dirt and filth at the base of his mane are finally gone and he is has new growth coming in that is so silver, it reflects the sunlight. Except his forelock. We still have a few head and face issues that need to be resolved, but that will come with time.
I guess the point of this whole thing is, some people can look at a bad situation and say this is so about it and that is just the way it is and now we get to fix it. I am not there yet. I can't see the reality of the situation as quickly as others. That is why those photos and videos completely floored me. I get defensive and want to make someone or something accountable. I want to know who dropped the ball and make them pay! It isn't until later on down the line, I look back and say that I can't believe what just happened! Where was I? I can't always see the forest for the trees, so to speak. I guess this is about as honest as I can be about it. Temporarily delusional....maybe. Emotional immaturity....perhaps.Or, maybe it is just the fear of the pain and the hurt of the reality of the situation. It's easier to miss it and deal with it when it is not so intolerable. So, until the day comes that I can stand back and look at the Indy's that come into my life and say to myself that this is what we've got and that is just the way it is from the onset, I guess I just have to get the medicine to fix my stomach ache, learn to handle my anger and buy a lot of Kleenex, because it's going to take time. So, like Indy, I'll just keep going and, I suppose, there is a journey here for both of us.
